MilPride: Supporting Families with LGBTQ+ Youth in the Military Community

About MilPride

MilPride was founded in 2018 by Amanda Brewer and Jessica Girven, military mothers of transgender youth who had to face challenges and discrimination while navigating the military system. The program was part of the American Military Partner Association (AMPA), one of the organizations that merged to form the Modern Military Association of America (MMAA) in 2019.

The program’s genesis came when Jessica’s daughter, Blue came out as trans. In 2016, at 10 years old, she successfully fought for the right to use the bathroom matching her gender identity at her school on Ramstein Air Base in Germany. The family had to fight again for Blue to access puberty blockers, which base doctors refused to prescribe. She crowdfunded a trip to a Virginia military base where Blue could receive treatment and where the family first met Jessica and her trans daughter, Jennifer.

“After my daughter, Blue, came out as transgender, we felt very alone on this path. It was meeting other kids and military families like ours that empowered me to advocate for Blue and these families. We never want another family or LGBTQ kid to feel alone again.” – Jessica Girven, U.S. Air Force military spouse

Amanda’s family was facing issues similar to Jessica’s family when her daughter, Jennifer, came out as transgender at age 12.

Jennifer came out before military family members were allowed to have trans-related medical care. Amanda had to get an off-post medical referral for the behavioral health and gender clinics at the children’s hospital. They initially denied her request, but Amanda persisted, telling them there was no alternative. Eventually, the family was introduced to Dr. Klein, the adolescent medicine doctor at Fort Belvoir who was one of Jennifer’s biggest cheerleaders.

“As a military family whose daughter came out before many transition-related services were covered by Tricare, our family struggled to find resources and support. I don’t want other military families to struggle like we did. I want to help fill in the pieces as much as possible so they can move forward on a much smoother path.” – Amanda Brewer, U.S. Army military spouse

MilPride’s mission is to be a resource and support network to help modern military families navigate the unique challenges of military service. The program is committed to ensuring no matter where your family is stationed, no one in your family feels alone.

Why It Matters

More than 1.76 million children have at least one parent in active-duty service. Given that 7% to 9% of youth identify as LGBTQ+, we estimate there are at least 50,000 LGBTQ+ military-affiliated youth. Military families move every two to three years, on average, which is three times more often than their civilian peers. This level of ongoing change is especially difficult for children, which can lead to tensions at home, a struggle adapting to new schools, difficulty making new friends, and stress or anxiety if a parent is deployed. These stressors lead to higher odds that military-affiliated youth will report depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation than their civilian peers.

These struggles are even more significant for LGBTQ+ identifying military youth who also face the challenge of finding an LGBTQ+ affirming community, having to come out repeatedly with each frequent move, and dealing with anti-LGBTQ+ legislation that may not allow them to use the bathroom associated with their gender, participate in a sports team, or access gender-affirming healthcare.