MilPride Program
Providing Advocacy and Support for Military Families with LGBTQ+ Children
Navigating the challenges of military life with a family is tough. But when you have an LGBTQ+ child, those challenges are magnified. That’s where MilPride comes in: to help families with LGBTQ+ children find resources, gain education and understanding, and connect with one another.
Modern Military advocates for our MilPride families by addressing your concerns directly with lawmakers, defense policy experts, and military leadership. We envision a future where all military families feel supported and safe, no matter where they serve.
Resources for Military Families
- MilPride Facebook Group where you can connect with other military families with LGBTQ+ children, ask questions, and find support. The group is closed and closely monitored, and all members are vetted prior to joining.
- PFLAG Connects: Military Community
A collaboration between PFLAG National and Modern Military Association of America. This safe, virtual, moderated monthly meeting is open to military-affiliated adults who are the parents, caregivers, or allies of LGBTQ+ children, teens, and adults. If you are a parent with an LGBTQ+ child – no matter how old that child is – this is a safe space for you. Moderators are military members, veterans, and military spouses with LGBTQ+ children. This group meets on the second Monday of the month. - At Ease: Support for Military Families with LGBTQ+ Children and Teens
A publication from PFLAG National, with information from Modern Military. This resource offers in-depth information about navigating the military system with an LGBTQ+ child and how the entire family can find the support they need.
Advocating for MilPride Families
Our mission at Modern Military is to educate, advocate, and champion for the rights and well-being of LGBTQ+ service members, veterans, and their families, as well as people living with HIV. We understand that families are a core component in a strong and successful military. Therefore, we work closely with policy makers, military leaders, and other organizations to uphold and expand civil liberties for all military families.
Check out our Updates Section or follow us on social media to learn more about our advocacy efforts.
The NDAA Passed: Now What?
The 2025 National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), which includes a ban on gender-affirming care for Tricare-covered youth under the age of 18, passed into law.
Here’s what military families with transgender and gender-diverse youth need to know:
- Nothing happens immediately. The DoD will need to create policy before anything changes, and that will take some time. Unfortunately, we don’t have a timeline, but check our social media to stay up-to-date on this process.
- Public comments on new policy. After the policy is written, the general public will have time to comment on the policy, usually 30-60 days. During this time, we will encourage our families and allies to comment and encourage the DoD to draft a policy with the least negative impact on military families.
- Until the policy takes effect, medical care is still covered. The NDAA passed, but until the DoD’s policy is in effect, Tricare will continue covering doctor’s appointments and prescriptions. If your child is denied healthcare coverage, please fill out our discrimination form immediately.
- There will be legal challenges. There will be legal challenges to the DoD policy, which could potentially lead to an injunction. Contact us at [email protected] to learn more about participating in the legal process.
We will keep you posted with any information as soon as we have it.
Are you a military family who is impacted by the NDAA’s ban on gender-affirming healthcare? We want to hear about it! Click the link below to share your story.
The MilPride program mission is to be a resource and support network to help modern military families navigate the unique challenges of military service. The program is committed to ensuring no matter where your family is stationed, no one in your family feels alone.
More than 1.76 million children have at least one parent in active-duty service. Given that 7% to 9% of youth identify as LGBTQ+, we estimate there are at least 50,000 LGBTQ+ military-affiliated youth.
Military families move every two to three years, on average, which is three times more often than their civilian peers. This level of ongoing change is especially difficult for children, which can lead to tensions at home, a struggle adapting to new schools, difficulty making new friends, and stress or anxiety if their parent is deployed. These stressors lead to higher odds that military-affiliated youth will report depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation than their civilian peers.
The Trevor Project’s 2022 research found 7% of LGBTQ+ youth under age 18 reported having a parent currently in the military compared to 4% of LGBTQ+ youth ages 18 to 24. These numbers were highest for LGBTQ+ youth living in the South which is likely because 60% of troops are located in five states, four of which are in the South – Virginia, Texas, North Carolina, and Florida. Furthermore, LGBTQ+ youth with intersecting racial and ethnic identities (Native/ Indigenous, Black, or multi-racial) reported the highest rates of having a parent in the military.
However, LGBTQ+ military youth who reported high levels of family support reported less mental health challenges and suicide risk. LGBTQ+ youth with a supportive family structure, has nearly 40% lower odds of recent anxiety symptoms, 56% lower odds of recent depression symptoms, and 46% lower odds of considering suicide in the past year. These findings make it clear how imperative it is for LGBTQ+ youth to have at least one accepting adult in their life.
MilPride, not only helps military parents receive the resources and tools necessary to support their LGBTQ+ child, but may also reduce anxiety, depression, and suicidality in LGBTQ+ youth.
In 2023, 85 anti-trans bills have already passed (15%) in 24 states of the 583 proposed across the country. To put that in perspective, in 2022, 26 bills passed (15%) out of 174 bills proposed. That is a 330% increase in proposed bills and a 320% increase in passed bills. These bills impact military service recruitment and retention efforts, particularly for service members with LGBTQ+ dependents. In Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Idaho, Indiana, Louisiana, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, North Carolina, North Dakota, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Wisconsin, and West Virginia there are healthcare bills that prohibit gender-affirming care or medical intervention for transgender youth.
Of these states, Texas, North Carolina, Georgia, and Florida are among the top states with the most active duty U.S. Armed Forces personnel with almost 350,000 active duty troops (2021 data). Furthermore, these four states are among the top five states providing new recruits (2018 data).
Currently, the Biden Administration has defined Title IX protections to include gender identity but that may change with future administrations. Modern Military’s goal is to ensure that transgender and nonbinary military dependents have access to affirming healthcare services and do not face discrimination in school. This includes:
- Modern Military asks that the DoD ensure access to transgender healthcare services through Tricare and the Defense Health Agency (DHA) for service members’ family members in states with restrictive laws.
- Modern Military asks that the DoD ensure that all military children can play sports or use the bathroom aligned with their gender identity in school, particularly in schools in states with restrictive laws.
Podcast Interviews about the MilPride program featuring Cathy Marcello
MilPride was founded in 2018 by Amanda Brewer and Jessica Girven, military mothers of transgender youth who had to face challenges and discrimination while navigating the military system. The program was part of the American Military Partner Association (AMPA), one of the organizations that merged to form Modern Military in 2019.
The program’s genesis came when Jessica’s daughter, Blue, came out as trans. In 2016, at 10 years old, Blue successfully fought for the right to use the bathroom matching her gender identity at her school on Ramstein Air Base in Germany. The family had to fight again for Blue to access puberty blockers, which base doctors refused to prescribe. She crowdfunded a trip to a Virginia military base where Blue could receive treatment and where the family first met Amanda and her trans daughter, Jennifer.
“After my daughter, Blue, came out as transgender, we felt very alone on this path. It was meeting other kids and military families like ours that empowered me to advocate for Blue and these families. We never want another family or LGBTQ kid to feel alone again.”
– Jessica Girven, U.S. Air Force military spouse
Jenn Brewer (R) with her mother, Amanda (L, back), and Dr. Klein (L, front). Photo Credit: Jacquelyn Martin/AP
Amanda’s family was facing issues similar to Jessica’s family when her daughter Jennifer came out as transgender at age 12. Jennifer came out before military family members were allowed to have trans-related medical care. Amanda had to get an off-post medical referral for the behavioral health and gender clinics at the children’s hospital. They initially denied her request, but Amanda persisted, telling them there was no alternative. Eventually, the family was introduced to Dr. Klein, the adolescent medicine doctor at Fort Belvoir, who was one of Jennifer’s biggest cheerleaders.
PFLAG Connects: Military Community
These safe, virtual, moderated monthly meetings, are in partnership with our friends at PFLAG. Meetings are open to parents, family members, and members of the LGBTQ+ community who are also part of the military community. Each meeting is led by current/former service members or military spouses who will guide you in receiving support, giving support, and finding resources to help you, your family, and your community.
