MilPride Advocacy and Support

MilPride was founded in 2018 by Amanda Brewer and Jessica Girven, military mothers of transgender youth who had to face challenges and discrimination while navigating the military system. The program was part of the American Military Partner Association (AMPA), one of the organizations that merged to form MMAA in 2019.

The program’s genesis came when Jessica’s daughter, Blue came out as trans. In 2016, at 10 years old, she successfully fought for the right to use the bathroom matching her gender identity at her school on Ramstein Air Base in Germany. The family had to fight again for Blue to access puberty blockers, which base doctors refused to prescribe. She crowdfunded a trip to a Virginia military base where Blue could receive treatment and where the family first met Jessica and her trans daughter, Jennifer.

“After my daughter, Blue, came out as transgender, we felt very alone on this path. It was meeting other kids and military families like ours that empowered me to advocate for Blue and these families. We never want another family or LGBTQ kid to feel alone again.”
– Jessica Girven, U.S. Air Force military spouse

Jenn Brewer (R) with her mother, Amanda (L, back), and Dr. Klein (L, front). Photo Credit: Jacquelyn Martin/AP

Amanda’s family was facing issues similar to Jessica’s family when her daughter Jennifer came out as transgender at age 12. Jennifer came out before military family members were allowed to have trans-related medical care. Amanda had to get an off-post medical referral for the behavioral health and gender clinics at the children’s hospital. They initially denied her request, but Amanda persisted, telling them there was no alternative. Eventually, the family was introduced to Dr. Klein, the adolescent medicine doctor at Fort Belvoir who was one of Jennifer’s biggest cheerleaders.

“As a military family whose daughter came out before many transition-related services were covered by Tricare, our family struggled to find resources and support. I don’t want other military families to struggle like we did. I want to help fill in the pieces as much as possible so they can move forward on a much smoother path.”
– Amanda Brewer, U.S. Army military spouse

Join the MilPride Resource and Support Network

If you are a member of a military family with an LGBTQ+ young person, you can join the private MilPride resource and support network.

Join the MilPride Advisory Committee

The MilPride program mission is to be a resource and support network to help modern military families navigate the unique challenges of military service. The program is committed to ensuring no matter where your family is stationed, no one in your family feels alone.

More than 1.76 million children have at least one parent in active-duty service. Given that 7% to 9% of youth identify as LGBTQ+, we estimate there are at least 50,000 LGBTQ+ military-affiliated youth.

Military families move every two to three years, on average, which is three times more often than their civilian peers. This level of ongoing change is especially difficult for children, which can lead to tensions at home, a struggle adapting to new schools, difficulty making new friends, and stress or anxiety if their parent is deployed. These stressors lead to higher odds that military-affiliated youth will report depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation than their civilian peers.

The Trevor Project’s 2022 research found 7% of LGBTQ+ youth under age 18 reported having a parent currently in the military compared to 4% of LGBTQ+ youth ages 18 to 24. These numbers were highest for LGBTQ+ youth living in the South which is likely because 60% of troops are located in five states, four of which are in the South – Virginia, Texas, North Carolina, and Florida. Furthermore, LGBTQ+ youth with intersecting racial and ethnic identities (Native/ Indigenous, Black, or multi-racial) reported the highest rates of having a parent in the military.

However, LGBTQ+ military youth who reported high levels of family support reported less mental health challenges and suicide risk. LGBTQ+ youth with a supportive family structure, has nearly 40% lower odds of recent anxiety symptoms, 56% lower odds of recent depression symptoms, and 46% lower odds of considering suicide in the past year. These findings make it clear how imperative it is for LGBTQ+ youth to have at least one accepting adult in their life.

MilPride, not only helps military parents receive the resources and tools necessary to support their LGBTQ+ child, but may also reduce anxiety, depression, and suicidality in LGBTQ+ youth.

In 2023, 85 anti-trans bills have already passed (15%) in 24 states of the 583 proposed across the country. To put that in perspective, in 2022, 26 bills passed (15%) out of 174 bills proposed. That is a 330% increase in proposed bills and a 320% increase in passed bills. These bills impact military service recruitment and retention efforts, particularly for service members with LGBTQ+ dependents. In Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Idaho, Indiana, Louisiana, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, North Carolina, North Dakota, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Wisconsin, and West Virginia there are healthcare bills that prohibit gender-affirming care or medical intervention for transgender youth.

Of these states, Texas, North Carolina, Georgia, and Florida are among the top states with the most active duty U.S. Armed Forces personnel with almost 350,000 active duty troops (2021 data). Furthermore, these four states are among the top five states providing new recruits (2018 data).

Currently, the Biden Administration has defined Title IX protections to include gender identity but that may change with future administrations. MMAA’s goal is to ensure that transgender and nonbinary military dependents have access to affirming healthcare services and do not face discrimination in school. This includes:

  1. MMAA asks that the DoD ensure access to transgender healthcare services through Tricare and the Defense Health Agency (DHA) for service members’ family members in states with restrictive laws.
  2. MMAA asks that the DoD ensure that all military children can play sports or use the bathroom aligned with their gender identity in school, particularly in schools in states with restrictive laws.

Podcast Interviews about the MilPride program featuring Cathy Marcello

PFLAG Connects: Military Community!

These safe, virtual, moderated monthly meetings, are in partnership with our friends at PFLAG. Meetings are open to parents, family members, and members of the LGBTQ+ community who are also part of the military community. Each meeting is led by current/former service members or military spouses who will guide you in receiving support, giving support, and finding resources to help you, your family, and your community.

PFLAG Connects Military

 

Spaces for Belonging

in partnership with Blue Star Families Chapter | National Capital Region

Spaces for Belonging is a monthly meetup-style program where military youth & teens (ages 13-19) who identify as LGBTQIA+ can come together to build community, foster friendships, learn, play, bond and find support with other military youth in the community. Allies & non military LGBTQIA+ friends are also welcome!